Big Fire In Myrtle Beach

Thank God it is, at this point a good bit north of our new house.

We took Albert to orientation at Coastal Carolina University last week. The college was welcoming but the sessions were long and boring. The good news was that we got to spend time in our new house. It is beautiful, open, bright and airy. We all were impressed. We pulled into the SC house around 9 or so Thursday night. And wandered around this bright, gorgeous house that had no beds, in fact no furniture of any kind. This was the first time in a long time I slept on the floor, not that I really slept. I spent way too much of the night wandering around a dark empty house. I couldn't read because there was nowhere to sit and keep warm. I had brought down a number of blankets, but we were using them as mattress and blankets both. It was a long night.

Luckily we had planned well and had the basic furniture delivered. A bedroom set for Ben, 3 mattress sets (one for Ben, one forAlbert and one for us) a sofa, an armchair and foot rest, and a table and chairs. Life was good.

I Am Just About Ready To Complain About My Hair

It's at an awkward stage. It is too short to do anything with, but it just looks messy.

Of course it wasn't too long ago that I was whining about not having any hail

Life is tough.

Thursday we will be on our way to Myrtle Beach. Albert is scheduled for orientation at his college and we are all going too. We want to learn what we need to learn about college and see our new house. I can't wait.

It's about time I posted again

Standing on my feet for a 40 hour week, even if it is at a job I love, wears me out. I am off today and have cleaned house, run errands, started going to a quilt guild and felt a bit more alive.

Life is good.

Quilt guild.

It is hard to go join a large group of women is hard. At least for me it was hard.

I had heard about the group from a woman who came to the book store looking for a donation for the guild quilt show. She was nice and told me about the guild and invited me to come. Unfortunately I didn't see her when I entered.

I was a big girl, I pasted a smile on my face and looked for a friendly face. All I saw were faces of ladies working on quilts and talking to friends. I thought about backing out and pretending I had a home emergency, but instead I found a place to sit pulled out my quilt.

Eventually the woman next to me started to talk to me. Her name is Carol and she is quite nice.
So was the woman next to her, and the woman across from me and the woman on the other side of me and the ...well you get the picture. I had fun and plan to go back.

My Father's Memorial Service.

My sister arranged a beautiful service. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of old family friends who came.

Two brothers, about my age, came from New York. My oldest (longest duration) friend came from Princeton and brought her mother and her sister. Their coming meant and still means the world to me. One of the men and my childhood friend both talked about what my father meant to them. Thinking about it still brings tears to my eyes. It helped me to see my father from a different perspective.

Apple Cider Vinegar Hair

The other day, while working, a woman asked me to help her find a book about the apple cider vinegar diet. I found the book and placed it in her hand. She immediately opened it and showed me the value of this diet on helping to grow strong and healthy hair. I think she was trying to help. After all my hair is only about a half an inch long.

I don't think the apple cider vinegar diet helps with the chemo cut.

It is hard to be without my father, even though I wasn't really with him all that much. It is hard to lose him. I am sorrier for us then I am for him. I know he had a good life. But I don't know how my mother will do with out him. I am sorry for myself for not having him in my life and even more so in the life of my children. The sad part is that for my children, I miss more life my father shared with them when he was younger and more able. These last few years he has been too feeble and tired to have much of an impact on their lives. It is sad.

My Father Died Today

I know he was happy with his life, his wife, his family. I know he lived a good and productive life. I know he loved and was loved. I know he was 91 and his health had been declining for years. He wasn't ready to go and I wasn't ready to have him leave us all.

It comforts me that he, as Dylan Thomas' famous poem demanded, did not go gentle into that I good night. My father fought death long and hard. It took at the age of 91 nearly 2 weeks in intensive care and three abdominal surgeries before he gave up. He fought hard and long and that knowledge gives me comfort.

I love you Everett Clyde Ham. I will always remember that you were the first person to walk (and ride your tricycle) on the moon.

I Love Story Time

My store has story time twice a week. The clerk in the kids department gets to choose what to read. I usually get to read at least one day a week. I love it.

Wen usually have a group of 5 to 10 preschoolers and moms. I usually read at least one day a week. Generally I choose what to read but occasionally a boss will make a recommendation. Book choices give me a little insight into their personalities. One boss likes stories with morals, a woman boss likes stories staring strong and independent girls. I

What do my choices say about me? I read stories , like The Strong Pajamas, or Skippy John Jones, about kids who have adventures but come home safe to mom.

Dang Somewhere between .5 and 1 Million per Year

An article in this week's Newsweek, stated that Dooce earns between $500,000 and $1,000,000 dollars a year from the ads on her blog. Wow, I don't even like her. I think she is whiny and too thin skinned. But dang, that is real money.

I figure if I put ads on here I could make, oh maybe a dollar or two a year.

I have fuzz. I like my hair short and think I will keep it short. But not this short. I found a site on the web, zazzle, that makes buttons. I ordered a bunch that say "LOVE FUZZ!" . I'm going to wear one and give them to my fuzzsy headed co-workers. In fact I will give them to anyone who wants one. We can be an army of fuzz lovers. And we will be cute.

Hatless

I'm going hat less these days. My hair is very, very short and a bit thin. Even so I like the look and I love not having to wear a hat. My head does get cold easily so I always wear a hat outside and even sometimes in our house. It can be cold in here.

It won't be cold this summer in Myrtle Beach which is nice since our house will be done and I plan on spending at least a month there. I may be there by myself since Al's old job wants him back for 11 months. He's decided to accept the offer since the extra money will help pay for the second house and he likes the job they have offered. The only drawback is he won't have much vacation time so I will be spending much of that Myrtle Beach month with out him. I'll miss him.

Hat High in the Air

First things first. Today, for the first time since my hair started to fall out, I appeared in public without a hat. It felt good. I was high in the stands at the Comcast center watching the Lady Terps play Duke. I got a few weird looks and a few understanding looks but mostly I just I was just one of the many people enjoying the game. By the way it was a good game and we won. I was ready to test the public waters hatlessly and the test went well. It felt good.

I'm not ready to go to work hatless, or to go out to dinner hatless but I think I can go to a store hatless. Life is good.

Work was interesting today. Lots and lots of people but not much mess. I found a few books here and there to put away, but no one left stacks and stacks of books. And people who do leave stacks of books irritate the heck out of me. but the people who leave dirty dishes and fast food trash are the ones I really want to beat the heck out of.

I enjoyed seeing dads read to and chase toddlers around the store. I found books for pleasant people and I watched a 30 something year old woman read beginning readers to her self. I guess she was learning to read because she was sitting by herself going through a stack of easy books. I didn't realize what she was doing until I was putting away a stack of beginning readers. I stood about a foot from her and heard her read to herself. She got all the words right but wasn't really comfortable. The words didn't flow smoothly and comfortably. She will get there. Listening to her made my day.

Thanks Good Looking

I love the card. You are right, my hair will grow in it's own good time.

I am taking your advice to heart. Someday my hair will come. Maybe.

Luckily I don't need hair for work. I am now a Lead in the children's section. A promotion. Life is good.

Full time is, for me,thirty hours a week but these days 30 hours feels a lot like 50 or 60. I'm tired by the end of my week and usually spend one day sleeping 14 or more hours. I dare say things will get better.

The second day off each week is better. I have fun. I am making quilts and learning new techniques. I made one for my sister in law for Christmas, I completed a whole one and the top of the second for Al and I'm working on plans for a new quilt for Albert. He'll need one for college and wants Coastal Carolina's colors, teal and bronze. I'm thinking I'll do a sampler quilt for him showcasing various stars and squares. He also wants the letters CCU prominently displayed. I can do that.

I forgot to say, Albert has been accepted at his first choice school Coastal Carolina University. Life is good.

Maybe It Is Starting to Grow

I can't see any new hair, but Al says it's growing in. GL and Sweetie both thought it was growing. Maybe. But if so it is not growing in fast enough. I want more hair and I want it now.

This next has absolutely nothing to do with hair, but it's what is on my mind. The longer I work at the book store the more I get annoyed with people who leave a huge mess. It is a bookstore. I don't expect people to put there books away. But I do expect them to throw out their trash and bring their dirty dishes back to the cafe.

Yesterday was one of the days when I wanted to lecture several mothers. Two sets of mom's and toddlers came in at the same time. The moms sat and read magazines while the toddlers ran around pulling books of the shelves. That wasn't the problem. It happens a lot. Most moms either put the books away or put them in a stack. These mom's left the books scattered all over the kid's department. Several of the books were upside down (breaks the spine of the book) and one of the kids tore a page out of the book and scattered the paper around. Grr.

Oh well, it is part of the job and I can always go and mutter about them to coworkers and friends. And I do. It makes me happy.

I am working full time (30 hours) now. We wanted dental insurance and I needed to work 30 hours a week to qualify, I want to become the child's lead and I need to work 30 hours to do that and Al and I want to pay for the new house and I need to work 30 hours. The 30 hours isn't bad, but it is an adjustment. I am used to having more time to knit, quilt, sleep or goof off. I miss that goof off time. In addition I spend more time around messy, arrogant people who could clean up after themselves.

Maybe It Is Starting to

This and That

I need to find my camera and charge the batteries. I've completed 2 quilts, 2 quilt tops and all the pieces of a two sided quilt (those 30 pieces need to be put together). I am pleased with all of them and want to post the pictures here.

I am still waiting for my hair to grow. I miss it. I keep noticing everyone else's hair. A guy at the store today had a ponytail of long blond hair. I wanted it.

Christmas in retail is hectic. I worked an average of 40 hours a week for the last couple of weeks. Work in retail is busy and demanding. Customers are lined up waiting for help. And generally they are on the cranky side. All of it must have worn me out. I had yesterday off and slept 24 hours straight. I was awake for 8 hours then slept for another 6. Thanks for all that sleep I felt pretty good today. Poor Al had a nice day of activities planned. I slept too long to do any of them.

I wore my knitted socks to work today and my feet almost baked. Those socks were way too warm.

It is Crazy in the Store

Dang, I just lost my post.

The store is crowded, the lines are unbelievably long and most customers' nerves are frayed.
The stacks of recovery (books to be put away) are huge, cups of coffee are spilled, customer requests are endless, story time readers (me) fall off the stool, my feet hurt and all in all it was a great day.

But I am glad to be home.

The boys are spending two days with there grandparents and Al and I are having a taste of the empty nest. I think we are going to like it.

I'm beat and can't think of anything interesting to say. I'll try to update tomorrow.

All That Worry Was For Naught

The other day I was worried because one of the medical tests, the echocardiagram, indicated mild heart problems which could have been caused by one of the cancer medications, Herceptin. The test showed Mitral Valve Reguritation. The oncologist did not think the results were realistic. I had my first echocardiagram 3 months earlier which showed normal results. My adored Oncologist insisted my heart could not have deteriorated that much in 3 months. Since I'll have another test in 3 months, I've decided to trust the Oncologist. All doctors are pigs.

Carry On or Wait

A few days ago my regular Doctor called to say that the echocardiogram showed some complications. And my most adored (Oncologist - who does not respond to non-office visit queries), had indicated earlier that those complications, which are most likely caused by Herceptin, will most likely mean stopping Herceptin for awhile.

I don't want the complications and I don't want to stop the Herceptin. (Studies show that a year's worth of Herceptin reduces the risk of recurrence significantly. Three months (I've had 3months worth) may be as effective but no one really knows. I don't want the cancer to come back. We (the doctors and I) had a nice little plan and I don't want to change it.

I see the adored Oncologist tomorrow to find out what is what.

Cancer sucks. Complications suck. And I still want hair.

I Want Hair and I Want it Now

It's been 5 weeks and my hair hasn't started to grow back yet. Five weeks. I have become very aware of peoples' hair every time I am in public. Everyone. Everyone, but me has hair. Oh a few men have bald spots here and there but they still have hair. Some men shave their heads, but they too have hair. I need hair. I want hair. And I want it now.

Not Exhausted

I worked for 8 hours today in the Kid's department and for the first time in ages I came home tired but not exhausted. Life is good. My red blood count must be increasing.

I'm working on various quilts these days. A pink lap quilt for me to commemorate getting through treatment and a modified log cabin block quilt for Ben. For Ben I am using the jungle Moda's Silly Safari material which is bright, colorful and full of snakes. The only problem with working for pay is I don't have enough time to quilt.

Tears in Our Eyes

All four of us stayed up to watch the election returns. I couldn't really allow my self to believe that the polls were right and Obama would win. It was a wonderful night.


What really surprised and impressed me was seeing the tears in the eyes of so many Obama supporters , supporters of all races, sexes and ages. I had tears in my own eyes hearing the results and listening to the speeches of both McCain and Obama. The election results say something powerful to many of us about how this country is growing and changing for the better. It is powerful to have lived to see an election season that included a woman and a black man running for the highest office in the land, to see a woman running for vice president and to be a viable contender. What is especially meaningful is to see the person I believe is best suited ,out of all those who threw their hats in the ring, win so resoundingly.

I also want to say how powerful and healing McCain's speech was. I think that speech showed the real McCain, a McCain that was lost during this very negative campaign.

This day means a lot to me, to my family. Life is good

I Voted For Hair

It has been three weeks since my last chemo and my hair is still not growing. I am tired of being bald (I really do like hairless legs and pits). I do not like having a cold head. I want hair. So this morning I voted for hair. I sure hope it works.

The latest card, sent to me by GL, is above. I think it is my favorite. The cute little pig dances.

I had my first Herceptin IV this morning. It went well, except for the fact that the nurse told me I was very anemic and might need a transfusion. The Doctor decided to wait a week and see what happens to my red blood cell count. The anemia does explain why I am so tired all the time. It will get better. And all if it, the anemia, the tiredness, the cancer are all indicators that I need to live healthier. I need to eat right and exercise.