Some people just don't get the axe murder theory of life. The rules are simple and if you abide by them you will be safe in most instances. After all everyone knows the axe murder is waiting to get any of us but only at certain times.
Rule one--if hubby is out of town, you can't backtrack unless you have a good reason. For example, you can't leave the house after dark unless it is absolutely necessary. If you need to take the kids to a party, you are safe. But if you go out to get the book you left in the car the axe murder might be waiting. And, you can't backtrack and go down stairs once you have gone up for the night. Now you can make numerous trips up and down during the evening, even late into the night; but once you know in you go up for the night you have to stay until dawn at least. The Axe murder moves into the house as soon as you go up - and stays till dawn, but he never goes upstairs.
Rule two--eating out. The whole family is safe from the axe murder so long as the mom does not sit with her back to a main aisle.
Rule three-holes in the walls and dark corners. Of course one should never linger long in a place with holes in the walls or ceilings or dark corners because the axe murder could easily be waiting.
It's obvious I am 55 and alive and well, so these rules have saved me from the axe murder all these years.
I was out Saturday with Sweetie and Good Looking. Sweetie and I talked about my theory of the axe murder and she thought I was goofy. Silly Sweetie!
1 comment:
Axe Murderer? Only the Shadow knows! Sounds like your axe friend is like my shadow friend. My friend is male and has a knife ready to strike. Hmm, I wonder if armor is still around somewhere? Maybe we should take a quick trip to England and see. I wonder how much a castle owner would charge for a few? Possibly a martial arts of some kind, I think though that I like the idea of armor but how would one get the darn thing off so one could drive or sleep or go shopping? Hmm, I know shopping could be done at Arundel Mills! They'd think we are a part of the show at Medieval Times! Ha! They have armor there I forgot!!! Ta, Ta, for now my strange friend.
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