For the last 11 weeks I’ve been making all sorts of plans for retiring. Just when I have really settled into the retirement is the best option track; they (the bosses) have posted a job I would love. A promotion – a job that would be a good fit for me. I have lots of experience so I would be comfortable but it would be challenging enough to require growth and learning.
The problem is my mind is now firmly into the “I’m going to retire” camp. I don’t want to open up the possible promotion camp. I don’t want to get back into the work for a million more years camp. I like being in the retirement camp. Its comfortable and comforting.
It’s not so much that I might not get the job; though not getting it will hurt. What I’m really frightened of is that I might get the job. That will mean postponing, or dropping all together, my retirement mindset. I won’t be able to sleep all I want, I won’t be able to quilt and knit, and scrapbook to my hearts desire. The closets will remain unorganized, the corners Ms E. doesn’t get to won’t get cleaned.
Life is hard. Once we’ve made plans, why can’t life readily accommodate our plans?
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