All That Worry Was For Naught

The other day I was worried because one of the medical tests, the echocardiagram, indicated mild heart problems which could have been caused by one of the cancer medications, Herceptin. The test showed Mitral Valve Reguritation. The oncologist did not think the results were realistic. I had my first echocardiagram 3 months earlier which showed normal results. My adored Oncologist insisted my heart could not have deteriorated that much in 3 months. Since I'll have another test in 3 months, I've decided to trust the Oncologist. All doctors are pigs.

Carry On or Wait

A few days ago my regular Doctor called to say that the echocardiogram showed some complications. And my most adored (Oncologist - who does not respond to non-office visit queries), had indicated earlier that those complications, which are most likely caused by Herceptin, will most likely mean stopping Herceptin for awhile.

I don't want the complications and I don't want to stop the Herceptin. (Studies show that a year's worth of Herceptin reduces the risk of recurrence significantly. Three months (I've had 3months worth) may be as effective but no one really knows. I don't want the cancer to come back. We (the doctors and I) had a nice little plan and I don't want to change it.

I see the adored Oncologist tomorrow to find out what is what.

Cancer sucks. Complications suck. And I still want hair.

I Want Hair and I Want it Now

It's been 5 weeks and my hair hasn't started to grow back yet. Five weeks. I have become very aware of peoples' hair every time I am in public. Everyone. Everyone, but me has hair. Oh a few men have bald spots here and there but they still have hair. Some men shave their heads, but they too have hair. I need hair. I want hair. And I want it now.

Not Exhausted

I worked for 8 hours today in the Kid's department and for the first time in ages I came home tired but not exhausted. Life is good. My red blood count must be increasing.

I'm working on various quilts these days. A pink lap quilt for me to commemorate getting through treatment and a modified log cabin block quilt for Ben. For Ben I am using the jungle Moda's Silly Safari material which is bright, colorful and full of snakes. The only problem with working for pay is I don't have enough time to quilt.

Tears in Our Eyes

All four of us stayed up to watch the election returns. I couldn't really allow my self to believe that the polls were right and Obama would win. It was a wonderful night.


What really surprised and impressed me was seeing the tears in the eyes of so many Obama supporters , supporters of all races, sexes and ages. I had tears in my own eyes hearing the results and listening to the speeches of both McCain and Obama. The election results say something powerful to many of us about how this country is growing and changing for the better. It is powerful to have lived to see an election season that included a woman and a black man running for the highest office in the land, to see a woman running for vice president and to be a viable contender. What is especially meaningful is to see the person I believe is best suited ,out of all those who threw their hats in the ring, win so resoundingly.

I also want to say how powerful and healing McCain's speech was. I think that speech showed the real McCain, a McCain that was lost during this very negative campaign.

This day means a lot to me, to my family. Life is good

I Voted For Hair

It has been three weeks since my last chemo and my hair is still not growing. I am tired of being bald (I really do like hairless legs and pits). I do not like having a cold head. I want hair. So this morning I voted for hair. I sure hope it works.

The latest card, sent to me by GL, is above. I think it is my favorite. The cute little pig dances.

I had my first Herceptin IV this morning. It went well, except for the fact that the nurse told me I was very anemic and might need a transfusion. The Doctor decided to wait a week and see what happens to my red blood cell count. The anemia does explain why I am so tired all the time. It will get better. And all if it, the anemia, the tiredness, the cancer are all indicators that I need to live healthier. I need to eat right and exercise.