Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Good, The Bad and The Odds and Ends

There's a bunch of good:
  • I'm posting
  • I'm 3/4s the way thru the chemo part of treatment (and chemo is the hardest part of treatment)
  • I've lost 5 pounds each chemo session
  • I'm surrounded by wonderful friends and the best family in the entire world

The Bad is :

  • chemo including herceptin is exhausting. I do feel physically better this time then the first two, but I also feel exhausted. I take a shower and need to rest. I vacuum half the rug and need to lie down. I keep thinking I'll feel better and better each day but I feel the same. I want to be better, I want to be well. I see the doctor tomorrow and will talk to him about how I'm feeling.
  • I have gained back the 5 pounds I lose in the days after chemo in the week before the next session because I am depressed at the thought of going through it again

The other is that my life is pretty dang dull these days. I am sick of knitting, I don't have the energy to quilt or read a book. I can listen to books on tape or watch TV but both of those get old quick.

Luckily I have had gone to work after chemo sessions 1 and 2. I like work. It gives me something to do other then feel sorry for myself and every once in a blue moon lets me meet a memorably rude and nasty customer. And memorably rude/nasty customers stand out because they are so few and far between. And It gives me a story to tell which enlivens my dull routine. Of course the names and identities of the obnoxious are not mentioned to protect the guilty (and me since this is posted on the Internet).

I won't go in to the details of the latest, it's boring. Suffice it to say she was rude, demanding and obviously felt entitled. She did not understand that she could have accomplished the what she wanted by asking instead of demanding. The store believes in customer service, so do I. I provide service to the nice and nasty alike. I would rather do it for someone who is polite but it is my job to do it no matter what. Her behaviour has a small impact on me, I get irritated, I fuss and tell the story to others. Then I let it go and just chalk it up to some people are really weird.

Her behaviour had a minimal impact on me, it was a blip in my day, a story to share. It must have a huge impact on her and the people close to her. How do her co-workers deal with her, her friends, her family? She may not treat them like that, but she treated me that way in front of a friend. If a friend treated other people that way in front of me, it would have a huge impact on our friendship.

She, as we all do, lives with the consequences of her actions. I think her actions close her off and make her a sad, pathetic woman. I truly feel sorry for her.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Fake Blue Wig


Tuesday I started wearing chemo caps. When I brushed my hair that morning it was sparse and patchy. I couldn't go out like that and I had chemo II scheduled for 11 a.m. So I wore the first chemo cap I made. It looked a lot like the one above but it was all blue instead of the blue and pink above. I called it my fake blue wig. I liked it so did the adored oncologist. I do like my own hair better.
The timeline is my hair started falling out noticeable on 8/24/08, was noticeably sparse and hat worthy on the 9/2/08 and I chopped of the remaining wisps just an hour ago. I couldn't stand it, there was just abut a third to a fourth of my hair left and it just got in the way. So I chopped it off. It feels good but looks weird. Tomorrow I call the hair dresser and get a buzz cut. A buzz cut with pinky scalpy patches. Boy won't I look good.