Family Affair

The guy who made us call now.

At Albert's insistence, Al called the Surgeon's office. When they said the results were not yet in but should be in tomorrow, he asked them to call the lab while he waited on the phone. (husbnads and sons come in handy from time to time). According to the nurse, the lab says they have the results but they are waiting for sign off. I hope that is a good sign. I have noticed that no one ever worries about making sure the info gets to the patient timely if the results age good.

The nurse will try to get the results to us today, but the Surgeon will be out of the office this afternoon. So it looks like I won't hear until tomorrow.

As the great whomever say "knowledge is power". Knowing that the results are somewhere in the process, rather then lost in the great cosmos helps.

No Results Yet

I called the Doctor's office to see if the results are in. Not yet. At least knowing they are not in yet makes me calmer (at least for now).

Feeling Better

I've been working off steam by cleaning, sulking and taking a walk with hubby and the dogs. I'm feeling better. While the idea of having cancer scares me, it scares me because of the loss of control, the loss of hair, the discomfort and the disruption to my life. In my normal moments my attitude is so what-hard times happen to all of us. This is one of mine.

Bundle Of Nerves

I have to get through today, somehow.

I am a bundle of nerves. I have plenty to do to keep --book club is coming over Monday night and I need to clean. I need to clean a lot. I need to go shopping. Al and I plan on going out to lunch and seeing a movie. But no matter what I can't cram in enough to fill my mind every minute of the day.

The problem is this kind of work doesn't turn my mind off. I keep think I either have cancer or I don't and I don't know how to act or what to do until if it is cancer or not.

If it is cancer too bad. I've had cancer and I didn't like it. I don't want to go through that again and I tell myself I won't. I won't have cancer and even if I do -- too bad. I wont do any medical procedure I don't want to do and I don't want to do any of them. I will not have surgery. I will not have radiation. I will not have chemo. I will not lose my hair. I will not need anything from any one. I will not do it.

But all the time I know all of that is a big lie. I will do what ever I need to do to live a long and good life. In fact I will do I need to live.

If it is not cancer I'll be embarrassed. The radiologist and the surgeon have both said they thought it was cancer and I'm afraid. I'll be embarrassed because I showed that fear to my parents to my friends. That is not the me I like to show. I like to be strong. I like to be in control. Now I need them. And worse yet I am showing I need them. That need is okay if it really is cancer but if it isn't, I was scared with out a good reason. In my mind that makes me both needy and a dope. And being both needy and a dope is embarrassing.

It does go with out saying I would rather be embarrassed then have cancer.

Writing helps me feel more in control and feeling more in control makes me feel better.

I Hate Waiting

Today the Doctor may or may not call me with the results of the biopsy. I hate waiting. I don't want to leave the house, I need to be here for the call but staying here just makes the day drag.

My life is a roller coaster these days, I roll from good mood to miserable in the matter of hours. Yesterday I was chipper. I was at work and too busy to think about stupid calls from stupid doctors (sorry doc, I don't really mean it). I had also found a link on the Internet that discussed the differences between benign and malignant masses from the image on the ultrasound screen.

I copied the following from the article (GE Healthcare Brochure--Essential Elements of Breast Imaging Basics)

Characteristics of a Benign Nodule are :

• Ellipsoid shape or wider than taller orientation with a thin echogenic capsule and a width to AP dimension ratio of 1.4 or more.
• Uniform echogenicity or intense homogenous hyperechogenicity
• 2-3 gentle lobulations

Characteristics of a Malignant Nodule are:

• Hypoechogenicity
• Spiculated contours/Angular margins
• Taller than wider orientation
• Posterior acoustic shadowing
• Duct extension, branching pattern
• Presence of suspicious microcalcifications

Hypoechogenicity means the image is difficult to record with ultrasound. That means it shows as very dark. Spiculated contours means it is spiny, the edges are not smooth.

The image on my ultrasound was dark and had irregular edges. Both of those characteristics indicate cancer. The good news is it was wider then it was tall. That indicates benign. I'm not sure about the last three on the list for malignant masses.

Searching for information both helps me feel better and feel worse. I don't understand all of what I see. Even when I understand the meaning of what I read, I don't always know if it applies to me or not. All in all it helps me feel in control. Knowledge is power. The more I know the more I feel in control.

Of course the loss of hair and the loss of control are two of the worst things about the cancer experience.

Still Waiting

Yesterday I met with the surgeon. He was nice, was knowledgeable but the thing that really stood out was the fact that he had wonderfully warm hands. If some strange man is going let his fingers wander around private places on one's anatomy, those fingers might as well be warm.

He also looked at the films from the ultra scan and the mammogram and pointed out the characteristics of concern. And he said he believes it is cancer. I believe I have better things to do then have cancer . While his beliefs matter to me, mine (at least the one above) don't seem to matter to anyone at all.

Earlier today I went to Saint Agnes for a biopsy. I should hear the results by Monday. Watching the biopsy was fascinating. A nurse ran an ultrasound scanner while the Doctor first numbed the area and then took samples of the lump. The lump was a dark oval area and the surrounding tissue was gray. The needle was a bright white and the numbing medication shot in as a black spray. The biopsy needle was also white and when it took little bites of the lump it left white streaks. It was almost fun to watch.

It's time I took some Tylenol. My boob hurts.

First Pair of Knit Socks

I finished my first pair of hand knit socks while in Santa Fe. Socks are fun to knit and feel great on. I may be on my way to being addicted.

I have finished the first of the second pair and am about to start on it's companion. Knitting life is good.

Roller Coaster

Yesterday I was obviously feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in misery. Today I am on the upside of the roller coaster and feeling pretty good. I will get through what ever I need to get through. And of course the radiologist could be wrong and it might not be cancer anyway.

Moody Girl

Yesterday evening I was in a very good mood. It started with Al and I going out and having a great dinner with two of his friends. Between me having two glasses of wine and his friends being smart, funny people I left in a great mood. Such a good mood that the refrain in my head had broadened and not only included "I won't do this again" and included "it's a false positive, it's not cancer".



This morning is a different story. I want to be angry with the laws of nature, the laws of the natural universe. I want to be furious with them because the it is just wrong for a person to get two different cancers. It is just so clearly wrong that everyone should know that. No explanations should be given because none should be needed.



Being angry with the universe just doesn't work. It's like being angry at a rock, being angry at God. It just wasted time and effort. Being angry at the immutable doesn't change the process or help me grow and be a stronger person. And being angry at Nature sure doesn't make the cancer go away.



In stead of being angry with Nature or God I depressed. I'm angry with myself.



Many of the causes of cancer are beyond my control. But I did a poor job of controlling the things that I could control.

1. I did not eat healthy or exercise regularly.


2. I ignored the need for follow-up appoints for NHL and did not get routine mammograms.


3. I broke my promise to God that if I recovered from NHL I would live a healthier life.

I'm not angry with myself because I caused the cancer (if indeed I do have cancer). I'm angry because I did not do all the things I could do to live a healthier life and have any possible cancer detected at the earliest possible time.

Written June 6th

I Will Not

Written June 5th

I won't! I won't! I will not do this again. I dealt with it ten years ago and I won't do it again. I won't.

If I am home alone I'll scream it out every once and a bit. When the guys are home or I'm out in public the refrain is a mental song loop. I will not go through this again. I won't and they can't make me.

Of course I know that if I do have cancer I have it. Saying, screaming, yelling and thinking I won't will have absolutely no impact what so ever. Even so, right now I am stuck on saying I won't.

Odds and Ends

Albert is still alive. He passed his driving test Saturday morning, to his surprise. He takes every opportunity to run an errand or take a drive. The good news is he is ticket less and alive.

I realized the only thing I miss from my old job is entering the office and calling out "Honey's I'm home!!"

I am planning on applying for a promotion at my book store. It would be a lead in the children's department. That is my favorite department. I love the kids, I love the store. I would like it better if I could do that job part time, but I can't-they will only hire for it full time. And I would rather do the job full time then not at all.

Santa Fe

I love Santa Fe and want to go back. I spent most of a week there at Camp Stitches (a knitting camp) meeting fellow knitters and learning how to knit in swirls, free form and other unexpected shapes. My class was taught by Debbie New an incredibly smart and gifted knitter. She has made beautiful objects including jackets, vests, socks, boats, tea cups and statutes. She is hot stuff and I learned enough at that class to know that I am no Debbie New.


The pictures above are of Santa Fe. The flowers were outside a knitting shop on the outskirts of Santa Fe and the sunset is behind my hotel.

Santa Fe is fascinating and beautiful. The land is red and raw, the architecture is thick and strong, the light and colors are intense. I loved it and want to go back. My one problem is I didn't have a car and it was hard to get around to see the sights. I could and did easily walk around the town. I saw knitting shops, the Georgia O'Keeffe museum (but not the paintings - that part of the museum was closed), the local cathedral and many historic building. I loved it. But the town is only a small part of the whole experience. The best part would have been driving around and seeing the scenery. Oh well next time.

Practicing What I Preach

Working with the public is just plain interesting. Almost everyone who calls or comes into the store is pleasant and polite and appreciate of the fact that this chain prides itself on providing customer service. Even so, every once and a while a customer is just plain angry and unhappy with us. Sometimes the bookseller is at fault and other times the customer just is impossible to please.

Today was the first time one of those customers was angry with me. She called and ask me to check and see if the book that she had requested be shipped from another store had come in. I found one possibility but since it did not have a name on it, I read the title of the book to the customer and asked her if it was hers. She got huffy and hung up on me.

Hanging up wasn't enough, she called back three times to complain. The first two times she spoke to a co-worker the third time she asked for me by name and spent 5 minutes telling me how unprofessional of me it was to read the title of a book that belonged to someone else, to her. I tried to explain that I was trying to see if it was her order, and she told me that was not true. I tried to explain what I had done, she wasn't interested in hearing anything I had to say. I asked if I could get the manager for her, she was uninterested in talking to him. She just wanted to bitch and have me listen. I listened, I apologized, I even (very politely) thanked her for telling me how unprofessional I was. And after she finally hung up I whined about her to all my co-workers (away from customers).

I know part of dealing with the public is dealing with idiots, but I don't like it.

When it happened to other booksellers I would listen and tell them some customers were just pains in the butt and that if you had been polite and responsive, you should just chalk it up to "Life is interesting".


But I will say when it happens to me, it is no fun.

Giving Change

Recently I've been working an average of 2 days a week. Most of the time I am shelving or zoning. Shelving is pretty self explanatory and zoning is making sure the books are on the correct shelves in the correct order. I don't really like doing either, but it is part of the job and helps teach how to find books in the store.

One of the draw backs of spending lots of time doing those jobs is I am of my game when I get back to the cash register. It showed. The other day I was back on the cash register for the first time in several weeks. A woman gave me a $100 bill for a $9.00 charge. I rang up the cash as if it were a $10 bill and gave her a $1 change. For some reason she wanted the remaining $90 in change. I was lucky she was very nice while she waited for me to get the manager to open my cash drawer.

I Love Spring

I love the flowering trees in bloom all around. I just wish the days were a little less grey.

Mom You Ruined My Whole Day

One of the reasons I enjoy working at the big name book store is the people I meet and the conversations I overhear. Today I heard a three year old tell her mom, who had just scolded her "Mom, you ruined my whole day, my whole day". It made my day, but didn't appear to make the mother's day.

Customer service may not pay well, but almost customers are wonderful people. They are thoughtful and appreciate of the help we give.

My favorites are at both ends of the age group, the little kids and the little old couples. Life is fun. Both groups brighten my day. The kids are cute and sweet and frequently say something down right funny (not that I laugh while they are there). The old folk couples just enjoy being together. I want to be one of them when I grow up.

The picture above has nothing to do with anything, but I like it.

Customer Service

Life is good. Today, for the first time, I worked customer service.

Up to now I have been working the cash register. Not that the cash register is bad. I like it. I like talking to all the customers, I like seeing the wide range of books that people buy. But there is a lot more to working in a bookstore then just ringing up purchases. And I was ready to do of that more. I had the chance to do much of that from 5:30 until 9:00 this evening. I found books, ordered books , put away books, answered questions and walked my little fat feet off.

Julie and Julia

This afternoon I finished reading "Julie and Julia - A Year of Cooking Dangerously". It's the story of Julie Powell deciding to spend a year cooking all the recipes in Julia Child's cookbook "Mastering the Fine Art of French Cooking". Julie wrote a great book. She is funny, foul mouthed and had something to say about courage and finding a place in your own life. The book resonated with me. One of the many reasons it did is she talked about how much she loved her husband. I liked that. I love myhusband and like it when other people love theirs. I like seeing strong marriages survive and become stronger.

I was so interested in her life I wanted to see what happened next. I googled her. It was a mistake. A big mistake. She is divorced and remarried. I almost feel like she divorced me.

Alright, I know she has a right to live her life anyway she wants too. I know the book was a version of her life that she wanted to make public. But dang I liked her marriage.

I've Been Thinking

Hey there is always a first time.

I've been thinking about status and employment. I've been thinking that most days I really enjoy my low paying, low on the totem pole, stand on my feet all day job; even though (or maybe especially though) it is a clerical job with an emphasis on personality instead of technical knowledge and skill. I like meeting people, I like chatting, I like my co-workers, I like getting out of the house, I like being surrounded by books. I even like standing on my feet all day long and coming home bone tired. Even though I love the job I feel guilty because I am not making better use of my abilities.

I've been thinking that really there aren't that many differences between working for the government or working for private industry. In both places you work with people you connect with and people your don't. In both places there are bosses who are people oriented and bosses who are power oriented. In both places the customers are the reason for our existence and the bane of our existence.

I've been thinking that the more the job matters to us the more it matters that we matter to the job.

I've been thinking that people are who they want to be and that people who allow power to corrupt themselves don't have much to themselves.

I've been thinking that I'm glad I retired.

I've been thinking that I miss some wonderful people from my good government job.

I've been thinking that it is time for me to think about substitute teaching so I can use my mind and be with kids.

My Feet Don't Hurt As Much

This post is all about my new job. Mostly because that is the most interesting part of my life these days.

I've been working 3 or 4 days a week for 6 to 8 hours a day. And each day my feet hurt a little less. I am making progress. My retail establishment is a chain bookstore. Working there makes sense, I love to read.

While the job is physically draining, it is not mentally challenging. It's not that it is boring, it isn't, but my pre-retirement job was much more challenging. Because this job is so different, for a week or so I wasn't sure I would want to continue to work after the holiday season was over. It felt like settling to go from a job that was mosly mental to a job in the service industry. But I've decided I like the differences. I enjoy interacting with the public. I like seeing the little kids in line, I like seeing teens buy books they plan on reading, I like talking with the old folks, I like it if I can make some one's day a little brighter-if I can help improve their mood.

I find I get drawn into their lives just a bit. I'm interested (and want to ask why but don't) when a woman in hers 60's buys a copy of the Kama Sutra, when a woman in her 30's buys several motorcycle magazines and I feel a little sad when a woman in her late 20's returns all three books she bought 3 weeks ago on pregnancy. I find the range of books and peoples interests fascinating and enlightening.

Today was the first time I found someones choice both sad and offensive. A man walked up to my cash register mumbling--well not really mumbling-I could understand the individual words, but the things he was saying didn't fit into any context that made sense. He shoved a paper on the table in front of me. He had paid for and ordered a book that is not carried in the store. He had it sent to the store instead of his house probably because customers have to pay for shipping unless they spend at least $25. The title of the book was blatantly offensive. Instead of just making sure he had received the book he had ordered and it was in good condition, he had also made a big deal of showing me the book, asking if I had read it and telling me I should read it.

It was a good reminder for me. After all I am an ardent liberal, I believe in freedom of speech and the freedom to read or write what you want. But it was also a good reminder that free speech often has a cost to people who see things differently.

SS I lost your email address.

Please send me an email at the last address you had-my first initial and last name @verizon.net.

My Feet Hurt

Today was my third day at work. The first day I filled out forms, the second day I watched someone work the cash register and today I worked at a cash register. Whoopee. And as my manager says all the time, working the cash register is not rocket science.

I had fun today, except for the fact that I spent all five hours standing and my feet hurt.

I like this job. I like interacting with the public. I like the people I work with and I love the discount. The job is relatively easy, as the manager says, running a cash register is not rocket science.

Even though this job is easier the sense of accomplishment is similar. It feels good to do a good job no matter whether the job is easy or complex. Of course this is really the first day I did real work and my attitude may change with time.

In the mean time I will love the discount.

San Diego Visit is Almost Over

The part of me that is sick of living in one room with 2 teen age boys will be glad to be back home where I have room to get away from rambunctious 1 and rambunctious 2. Even though we have walked close to a million miles each day, they still have way too much energy left over each night. All I want to do is relax and all they want to do is run wild and run noisy.

But at the same time I'll miss this beautiful city, the mild weather and the mile long list of things to do. We have visited museums, Sea World (twice), the zoo, the beach and spent time exploring the city. And I'll miss the hours and hours of togetherness.

San Diego Rocks

We are spending a week in Balboa Park (mom stuff). Tomorrow is Ben's vacation and we are going to the zoo. I would love to take pictures but my camera is out of battery juice. I want to move here, but the boys want to stay at home.

Employed Again

Thanks to two wonderful people who were kind enough to give me wonderful references. Thanks to you both.

Second Interview Scheduled

I survived my interview (for the part time job) and am scheduled for a second interview. Some how that just cracks me up. I could not imagine needing a second interview for a low pay part time job. I guess it makes sense, my favorite place is part of a national chain and it does give them time to check my references.

I started this interview process with very mixed feelings but now I'm starting to become excited about working again.

For a change of subject, I went to dinner with friends last night in Little Italy. The food was scrumptious and the company was wonderful. I want to go again with the family, but dang it was expensive for just me especially considering I did not have any wine. It may cost the earth for all four of us.

Got to go. Hubby and I are going to a Women's Terps game and time is a calling.

SS I will send you an e-mail tomorrow. I miss you.

This is the Life

I'm sitting with the laptop and a cat on my lap. The second cat beside me and both dogs at my feet. What a lovely family life. And I think I want to ruin all this free time searching the web and watching TV by getting a job. What kind of fool am I?

Rhetorical question you don't need to answer.

This has been a perfect day. I slept till 10:00, put away two large baskets of clothes (I hate all phases of laundry), changed the sheets and made the bed, did the dishes and cleaned the counter, did a load of laundry and swept the floors. Now I'm knitting and playing online and postponing the rest of the chores around here.

It needs a pretty picture

I Said I Wouldn't But I Did

Friday evening I applied for a part time job.

I know, I know. I'm not sure I believe it myself.

What possessed me to ask for the pleasure of:
making slightly more than minimum wage
so that people half my age can boss me around
while I stand on my feet all day
surrounded by the public
while having to wear something dressier then jeans and a sweatshirt.

Lord help me!!

I did it because this is the time for seasonal, part time work and I need a little more structure in my day. I watch too much of Walker Texas Ranger and get out too little. I start lots of quilts, embroidery projects and knitting but finish on a small portion of them. I think about joining a quilting guild or taking a knitting class, but I am too comfortable in my rut. I've started to like shopping and that scares me.

So Friday I applied for a job at my favorite establishment. I dropped off my application and it's beautiful cover letter; talked to the manager and now have an official interview lined up for Wednesday evening.

We'll see.

I Ride Horses (well horse actually)

We had a family (the four of us and the in-laws) weekend at Canaan Valley, West Virginia. The weather was gorgeous, the scenery was beautiful, the company was wonderful and I rode a horse. A real horse. A big, huge, actual, walking, trotting, galloping horse. I hadn't planned on riding. The boys and the in-laws were going to, but Al couldn't because he was recovering from knee surgery and I used the excuse that I was going to keep him company to hide the fact that I was too scared to ride a horse.

But when we got to the riding stables and saw the horses I fell in love. They were beautiful. They were sweet. I looked into those big brown eyes and I wanted a horse of my own. I forgot the fact that the last time I rode a horse was nearly 40 years ago. I forgot the fact that I would be sitting on top of a huge animal with a fairly small brain. While that brain might be small the horse would know I was a horse ignoramus.

Luckily the horse was not only smarter then me, she was gentle and good natured and I survived an hour ride through the State Park. I would have to say that the one ride was most likely enough horse back riding to last me for the rest of my life.

Sunshine and Goldfish

I haven't posted in a while because I've been running around taking care of people who choose surgery over living in pain. Last week my mother had her left shoulder replaced and this week my husband had muscles in his knee surgically smoothed. I've spent too much time sitting and waiting to make sure both it through surgery, picking up legal drugs, running errands, cooking meals and driving immobilized people various places. It hasn't been bad except for the fact that it cuts into my free time. And of course my free time is so limited now that I am retired.

My latest hobby is machine embroidery and my first project was the goldfish towel, see above right. I also added a football design to a sweatshirt for hubby's d-day and a plaque bemoaning the problems of old age for my dad. I am making plans for embroidered Christmas presents, but haven't had the time to do any more embroidery since I have been taking care of sickies. Luckily they are both doing better so I should have time to work on a few projects tomorrow and the rest of the week.

Lordy I enjoy retirement, though I do miss my work buddies.

Wednesdays

A week ago, today, Sweetie and I visited Good Looking at her vacation spot. We spent a wonderful day talking, catching some rays and generally having a wonderful day. I had so much fun I wanted to go camping with her next year. Or at least I wanted to until the end of the day when I badly wanted a shower and a comfortable bed. I think the only kind of camping I am really up for is motel camping. That's when I visit a camper but I stay at a motel with a hot shower and a comfortable bed.

The picture above is Cape Henelopen Delaware at sunset. Watching the sunset was the perfect end to a perfect day.

We Might Let Him Out of Jail

Cole,the pain-in-the-arse is getting out of jail because he is basically housebroken. But he recently chewed through the cord of the new vacuum cleaner. So now I can't clean the floors til we get it fixed. This is one very expensive dog. Luckily he is a sweet and loving dog--luckily for him that is.

He and his brother have started walking with me most days, now that the weather is pleasant. We walk around the neighborhood stopping every few seconds so the boys can sniff all the good scents. And yes I always carry my poop bag just in case.

If He Weren't So Cute He Would Be Dead

He ate my new glasses! The glasses I paid way too much for, to replace the first pair he chewed. The thing is I am glasses less for a while because i threw out the chewed pair when I got the new ones and the new ones have been totally destroyed. Without glasses I can't see well enough to drive, so I am stuck at home-boring; watching TV gives me a headache so I don't watch TV-that's a good thing. Like I said, if that dang dog wasn't so cute he would be dead.

In fact he is a very expensive pain. So far he destroyed Albert's retainer, 2 pairs of my glasses, 2 pairs of Ben's glasses, one pair of Al's, a school book, various toys, socks and odds and ends. You would think we would have learned by now to keep anything valuable under lock and key.

Speaking of home, I miss the boys now that they are back in school. The house is way too quiet. I can clean, do laundry and work on my quilts. The house even stays clean until they come home. Even though I miss them I don't really want them back all day every day. I just need to find a new routine.

School Starts Monday

This has been a good summer, up to but not including the last few days. I've been a stay-home-mom and the boys have been able to have an unstructured summer. They could stay up as late as they wanted, sleep until they woke up naturally, go swimming, play golf, go to the movies or stay home depending on their moods. They enjoyed it, though they are a lot more interested in video games then the pool and in staying up late and sleeping till 1 in the afternoon then in going to the Smithsonian.

It has been great for me too. I've enjoyed the spontaneous conversations, hugs and the window into their day to day lives. Too much of a good thing turns a smart loving, good natured boy into a irritating, annoying bored 13 year old. The 15 year old would probably be a pain in the butt to except that learning to drive and the car have taken over his life.

Ben needs to go to school. He needs structure. He needs work. He needs to stop bugging me.

Maybe I Do Miss You.

I need a picture of a cute puppy because I am feeling rather glum. I have been trying to feel better through self medication with food. Unfortunately the sugar buzz is doing little to help me move on.

So I decided to think about what's causing the foul mood. Running into the "used to be friend" is pushing feelings of sadness and loss to the surface. It's not that I still want to be friends with her, I don't; it's not that I miss her, I don't. It's that I'm a different person now then I was when I was in the friendship. That transition, growth, was painful and made me lose a number of long held illusions. I used to think that as I grew and become a better, stronger person the people closest to me would accept and even welcome those changes. I thought the process would be a win-win process, that my growth would be a catalyst that would help friends and family to grow too. Some did, some didn't.

The sad part is that some didn't. It's not that the "didn'ts" were bad or shallow people. It's just that they didn't need me as much as I hoped they would and I didn't need them as much as I needed to change. I've learned that sometimes lose comes with every choice and you just have to decide which loss is the biggest.

Maybe I do miss you "used to be friend".

Working for Money

Saturday I worked for money for the first time since retirement. I watched the 4 year old daughter of Albert's tutor while her husband and older daughter were away for a weekend and she went kayaking.

I wasn't really sure that was the way I had wanted to spend my day and I sure wasn't planning on earning money that way. I agreed mostly to help out the mom who was in a bind. I was pleasantly surprised. I had a great day. Little girls , especially this little girl (she is a girly girl) are very different from little boys. Little boys don't paint their finger and toe nails, they don't play quietly and they don't stay clean. Of course they don't talk your ears off either.

Little miss girly girl and I went for a walk to the secret playground mid morning. The funny thing was we ran into a "used-to-be" friend on our way. Even though she almost lives in the area (maybe a little less then a mile away) I was stunned to see her, enough so that it took me a minute or two to fit her into my mental map that she really was the person I thought she was. Life is funny.

I adore flower pictures, which is why I've posted the two above.

The Scenic Route is the Best

I like to travel the scenic route, Al likes to take the shortest route. Mine is more fun, but sometimes it takes for ever for me to get where I want to go.

After dropping Albert off at a golf course near a friends house I drove home via routes 27 and 108. Other then the fact that it took me nearly 2 hours to go home compared to the 40 minute drive out, it was a great ride. I passed a roadside market with fruits, veggies and amazing flowers. I took these two pictures after buying some produce. That stop made the trip worthwhile.

Albert Has His Learners Permit

Albert has had his learner's permit for about a week. He now has 8 hours of experience driving in a Church parking lot, a nearby, very quiet neighborhood, local roads and thirty miles down the back roads to his friends house. He impresses me, with his knowledge and his skill. Nevertheless, riding with him is hard on me. It's not the driving, it's seeing that he is growing up and becoming a responsible young man. I like the man he is becoming. He is kind, thoughtful and considerate. What saddens me and scares me is that he is becoming more and more independent. I miss that very sweet little boy who needed me so very much.

When Al and were talking and planning what we would do when Albert got his learner's permit, we thought I would be the only one to take him driving. We thought Al would be too impatient, lose his temper too often. Albert wanted us all to go to the church for his first driving lesson/experience. So we went as a family, Al and Albert were in the front seat and Ben and I in the back. I was pleased with the way Albert handled the car, but I was literally amazed with how well Al handled himself and Albert. Al did a fantastic job. He was patient and didn't even come close to loosing his temper. In fact he did a better job then I did. I take it all to personally. I see the man Albert is becoming and want the boy he was.

Look at that big yellow mouth

The boys found this fella squawking under a tree in the front yard a few days ago. He had fallen out of his nest and was making enough noise to call all the cats in the neighborhood to the birdie buffet.

We pulled a ladder out of the garage, propped it against the tree and placed him gently back in his nest.

I hope he is safe and doing well.

Cole Rules

He is one cute puppy. Luckily the camera has a fast shutter speed cause this pooch doesn't stay still long. He's funny and never lets the fact that he is a clutz, who trips over his own feet slow him down. I love to watch him run down the stairs from the deck to the yard. As soon as he gets down to three or four from the bottom he launches himself out and down. If Camden is ahead of him, he sails right over him. Life with a puppy is good, at least if you ignore the accidents, the chewing and the broken dishes.


Speaking of broken dishes(using for a transition) Sweetie, Good Looking and I went to New Market Saturday. I had been there years and years ago and it was bustling small town. Going to New Market Saturday was like going to a town that time had passed by. We were there for three or four hours and only saw a few other shoppers. The houses and shops, generally looked rundown. I had a good time, but was disappointed that the town had changed for the worst.

Plain Jane an d I Hate Cats

I do love the fuzzy boys and girls but I am sick of them. The baby (Cole) is kind-of house broken and loving leaves stinking presents on the wooden floors way too often. Star is either too lazy to come downstairs to do her business or (more likely) is too afraid of being chased by Cole to use the downstairs litter box and instead has taken to peeing on Al's side of the bed. I am sick of cleaning up after them. I am sick of doing nine million loads of laundry a day. Any one want a cat or two or three?

I finally had the bright idea of putting in a litter box upstairs. I think Al has suggested it tons of times, but I thought the cat should take her butt downstairs so I was a hold out. Stupid me, I'm the one who does the laundry.

Al and I went shopping today for an additional litter box, spray to get rid of the pee smell , spray to make sure they don't pee in the same place again and new bedding for our bed. I sure hope it works. If not I may sell the cats on E-bay.

and

The Prodigal Cat Returns

It is with out a doubt all Al's fault. Everything is, the fact that I spilled my drink, the fact that I'm goofing off instead of doing laundry, in fact the fact that the laundry is never ending is all his fault. I can't tell you why it is all his fault which is why it is fun to blame him.

I'm blaming him for all the world (all right the three people -which includes me- who read this blog) because he just made this totally out of the blue comment about how I spill stuff all the time just because I happened to drop another glass of diet tonic and lemonade.

I might just as well also blame him for the fact that I have developed an addiction to diet tonic water and lemonade. I started drinking it because a blogger/doctor recommended it for people with restless leg syndrome. For the uninitiated, restless leg syndrome, is the uncontrollable urge to move your legs, usually some time after bed time and for me it always seems to be several minutes after I just fell asleep. It is irritating and frustrating but not serious. Any way, I have it and for me it means on the nights that I don't have trouble sleeping, the urge to move my legs wakes me up and forces me to get out of bed and pace the hall for several minutes.

Tonic water contains quinine which helps control restless legs. Unfortunately quinine has side effects such as headaches and I can't remember what all else. Which means that if I drink too much I have a world class headache. I hate headaches.

Sitting between me and my diet tonic water is the prodigal cat Sandy. Sandy and all our cats are inside cats and have been forever and ever. They aren't interested in going out and don't hang around the doors trying to make a quick escape. I haven't a clue how he managed to escape, but some how or other he did.

We searched the house, the yard, posted signs stating he was lost, called the pound, placed an ad and after a week of searching; Albert saw him on the deck eating the "won't you please come home Sandy" cat food that the boys kept on refilling and keeping, the dogs away from. Albert opened the back door and Sandy flew off the deck and disappeared into the woods. I would have to say he is a rather stupid cat because in my opinion a smart cat would have come into the house. In any case, smart or stupid, we wanted him and were glad to know he was alive.
We searched the house and yard and found him hiding under the shed. Albert tried to entice him out with food, but that didn't work. I tried to scare him out with noise and he ran hell bent for leather across the yard and into the woods. Both boys chased after him madly, most likely scarring him deeper into the woods. Stupid cat, demented family. Humph.

We were all getting discouraged until Albert had the great idea of using a humane trap to capture him. We borrowed a trap from the pound, baited it with canned cat food and a one of the boys tee shirts, placed it in the woods and checked it frequently. It took two days but the Sandy finally came home via the trap.

He is safe though a little battle worn. He is on a course of antibiotics because he was running a fever. He has settled in and we are glad to have him back. I would post a picture but my computer is still in the shop.

The Mayflower

It was my night for book club. Which means all the members meet at my house. Since I didn't want to meet in the back yard I had to clean the dang house, at least the downstairs. I scrubbed floors, doors, walls and windows. I cleaned the downstairs until it sparkled and I am beat. It was worth it. Unfortunately by this time tomorrow, the boys and the pooch will have made a mess of the place again. Sometimes I like to think about being an empty nester.

This month's book, my choice was The Mayflower by Nathan Philbrick. It is, not surprisingly, the history of the Pilgrims from getting ready to make the voyage on the Mayflower and the following 50 years. The book was great, but way too long and too detailed. Even so the discuss was interesting and the meeting was fun. The interesting thing is that I don't seem to read any more now that I am retired then I did before. .

Jelly Rolls

I've joined Moda's jelly roll of the month club. Don't get excited, chances are it's not the kind of jelly roll you think it is, these jelly rolls are rolls of fabrics; precut strips 2.5 inches by 42 inches 40 different strips, 40 different fabrics but all in the same line. Those strips will the kind of quilt that I want to work on a lot easier - dang, their name is on the tip of my tongue, but not in my brain- quilts that start with strips of related fabrics. But how many of those quilts am I going to want to make. Oh well I can cancel at any time.

What I wish I could cancel, but don't know how, is I seem to be a night owl. I like to stay up till one in the morning, but I need to get up at 6:30 to get Albert off in the morning. The problem is staying up till 1 or later and getting up early leaves me cranky. The problem with sleeping in is it squanders my precious alone time (Albert is home 2:15 ish).
and I love my alone time. Speaking of alone time, it is very soon to become a lot less. The boys have only 3 half days of school left. The horror! I'll be a stay home mom with full time kids in just a few days. Weep for me.

Ben (Boy B) 8th Grade Graduate

yup, Ben graduated from the 8th grade tonight. He is hot stuff.

The evening did not start auspiciously, it was raining hard when Ben's grandparents pulled into the driveway and absolutely pouring by the time we arrived at the school. Al (hubby) dropped Albert (Boy A), Ben and I (the grandparents were in a separate car) off at the front door to the school and we still managed to look like drowned rats by the time we were inside. Of course I could have been a bit drier if I had not felt compelled to stand in the rain and get the last word at the same time I was giving my dear sweet hubby, Al, the evil eye. I thought he could have dropped us off closer to the door saving me two whole steps of wetness. Since he hadn't I felt compelled to let him know right then and there. Oh well, that's one of the joys of marriage, or at least one of the joys of being married to me. Even so, it was a nice evening.

The thing is he is my baby. It just doesn't seem right that my baby is now a high schooler. Time goes way too fast.

New cell phone (strawberry chocolate), new number (boy A took over my last phone when he left his on the bus and some rotten kid found it and kept it), new sewing machine class and new entry. All that new wears me out and I may need to go take a nap. and I think I will. That is one of the nice things about retirement, I can take a nice nap any time I want,

Chores and More

I'm finally settling into a decent routine. Mornings are spent doing chores and afternoons are spent doing fun stuff. I would much rather do just fun stuff all day, but the guys won't go along with it.They demand clean clothes and refuse to go around their days as naked as a J-bird. And even I would rather life in a clean house. So this morning I did lots of chores and the house, at least the downstairs looks fairly decent. Life is good.

I'm almost finished with Boy A's quilt. I am pleased with it. And when I finally get my computer back I'll post a picture.

Time to get some work done on the quilt for the tutor.

First Concert

My computer is back in the shop. I can use one of the boy's but I sure miss mine. It really irks me, it is a new computer and should be staying home.

I'm also, well irked isn't the right word, appalled is a better choice, that Boy A is in the starting stages of being an adult. I can see glimpses of maturity in the decisions he makes and the way he behaves. Of course I can see much more teen age behaviour. He and two friends went to his first concert Monday night. That process, making the arrangements, buying tickets and behaving responsibly; is a rite of passage. Of course I'm not sure whether it is a rite of passage for him or for me. I know it is his job to grow up and mine to help him become a responsible adult. But these rites of passage, while good for him, are painful for me. I want him to grow up while at the same time I miss the little boy who wants his mommy.

I'm sure he will love this post.

Crocs Make Cute Sandals

I bought a pair of turquoise toe sandals and it made my day.

I am working on 3 quilt tops.

Boy A's quilt (lap quilt sized) is almost done. I've appliqued on all the turtles and one of the dogs. I have one more dog to applique on, unfortunately I can't find what I did with it. If it doesn't turn up soon, I'll gave to make a new one.

The retirement block quilt top is 99% done. The problem is I'm afraid to make the quilt sandwich and quilt it. It is hard for me to keep the smaller ones smooth and this will be several times harder. I might breakdown and buy a quilting frame, but I am out of money just now.

But I saw a pattern I really loved, so I've started a modified version of it. All I have to do is post some pictures so you all can see how multi talented I am.

Quilts, Quilts and more Quilts

I'm working on three different quilts, all in various stages of completion. The bad thing is I keep looking for fabric on line. I have plans for another 4 or quilts working in my mind. I want to put the three ones I've started away so I can work on the ones in my mind. I know better. I need to finish at least two first before I start on any other quilts.

Searching for the Misplaced Mother

One of the nice things about retirement is that I can be on call for my folks. They called yesterday. My father had driven my mother to get a colonoscopy but bore she went in for the procedure, he started feeling poorly. She called asking for me to come, help him to the car, wait for her and take her home. Of course I agreed. Then she asked if I knew where she was and I asked if it was the medical center near her house. She said yes. I got a book, my knitting, put the pooch in the crate and set out.

I pulled into the medical center but there was no surgical center. I went in, walked into a Doctor's office and asked for help. The receptionist Kelli, was absolutely wonderful. She called several nearby surgery centers to see if my mother was a patient, but could none were working on a patient my-mother's name.

Since I was near my folks house I went there and looked for clues. The only one I could find said he had an appointment at the hospital that morning. Since the hospital was about 30 miles further north on the same road as the near by medical center I decided that was the right place (even though it was one that Kelli had called) and drove over. I should have listened to Kelli, no mom.

I borrowed a phone book and started calling near by hospitals. I was lucky and found her at the first one I called. Poor dad, it took me two hours to get to a hospital that was 25 minutes away.

Everything ended well. My dad was doing better, my mother was fine and we all had a nice visit and I was lucky enough to run into a woman who spent a lot of her time helping a stranger.

He is a Pain in the Butt

Cole that is. He had a rough night. And if he has a rough night so do I. Afterall, he sleeps in bed with one of us, but on a leash. He is bed trained, but not house broken. He started out in bed with the boys but when he kept crying at 2 a.m. Boy A brought him to me so I would take him out. And take him out I did, three times from 2 to 4 in addition to the time hubby took him out. Which means that we took the little rat tailed, monkey sock, pain-in-the-butt out four times in two hours in the middle of the night. Four times when we would much rather have been sound asleep. And each time we took him out all he did was play.

The fifth time he cried to get out of the bed I decided he could play while I snoozed and I just let go of the leash. Boy was I sorry when I woke up. He left presents all over the place. I don't know how it was possible all that came out could have fit in him at one time. And none of it belonged on the rugs. So I spent much of the morning cleaning up after him and hoping I learned my lesson.

Cole Update

Cole has had all his puppy shots. We are done visiting the dang vet every two weeks, thank goodness.

He is a sweetie, a 33 pound sweetie. He loves to chew and has so far destroyed Boy A's retainer, numerous empty water and soda bottles, my new headphones, various socks, a school book and many toys. This is turning out to be an expensive puppy. No matter he is a joy. He is loving and playful' He has captivated all of us including Camden (excluding the cats of course). He and the cats are interesting.
Cole wants to play with the cats the way he plays with Camden. So he chases them around the house and chats with loud yelps. I keep waiting for Sandy to tear off an ear. Sandy hisses and swats, but I don't think he has made contact yet. Soon, now doubt.

KVS send me an e-mail, Please.

Life is good. I picked up my new sewing machine today. I had time to set it up and read the instruction book and try out a few stitches. By that time it was time to meet the girls for dinner.

Dinner was great, but we spent part of the time talking about how are parents are aging, and how we are getting older. It was our lives, but now I feel rather old. And tired. I think I need to go to bed.

Which makes me realize I may never be fully finished with the catch up with my sleep phase of retirement. The fact that being able to sleep in is a joy is another sign that I am getting old. Neither Boy A or B would voluntarily take a nap or go to bed early for any reason what so ever. Keeping up with them makes me feel old too. Old but lucky.

What's even worse than being old is I am turning into my mother. The crafts that I enjoy are the ones I learned from my mother and her mother (knitting, quilting and sewing) . It is special when I think that those crafts are passed down from who knows how many earlier generations. are the ones I learned from her. It is family, tradition and part of the definition of who I am. But at the same time, not many women want to be like their mother. (No my folks do not know I keep a blog).

Crafting is going well, I felted the three bags and the slippers. I love them all. I used one, the one that I had dyed with kool aid, when I went out to dinner tonight. It was a hit. And if my camera was working I would post a picture. But since it isn't you'll just have to take my word for it that it is very cool.

You all need to see the quilt too. I love it, I love the fact that it is made of various sized rectangles of vivid colors-- hot pink, bright orange, vibrant yellow, wild green. Most of the colors are take from the few prints I am using. I'm using it to symbolize the transition from work to retirement. It is a large rectangle bound with wild green, that made up of rectangles of various sizes each bound with it's own color. Each of those rectangles is mode up of 10 to 15 ish small rectangles. If I can figure out the embroidery part of my new baby, I'll embroidery something around the edge about transition give us the opportunity to use the blocks of our experience to build a new life.

I love the quilt, but it sure is bright.

I love my guys.

I'm falling into a nice rhythm at home. I do everyday cleaning, some extra organizing, time with the pooches and the boys and still fit in time for crafts. I finished my last knit bag, good size and my own version of a fun print, felted it, two smaller bags and a pair of slippers.

I love felting, it hides a multitude of sins.

I'm getting back into quilting. I've been working on Boy Terrapin and big Dog foot fall quilt. I also started a quilt of bright colored, various sized squares and rectangles. It is my transition quilt. I want to embroider on it, with my soon to be Bernina 440 QE, a saying along the lines of -- the sign of a successful transition is that you use the basic building block of the last phase to build a new and more exciting life. I haven't been able to find a quote I like on the Internet, of course I haven't looked all that much. I hope to find a good quote, if not I need to wordsmith the above.

Changing the subject, tonight was a special night. Hubby and I celebrated our 17th anniversary, paid for by Boy A. He wanted to make the event special and he succeeded. We ate a what was, prekids, our favorite restaurant. We had a great time. Thank You B oy A.

quilting squares

My computer is still in the shop and the missing camera piece is still missing. I sure do have a tough life for a retired lady.

I've started working on a new quilt. I don't like making traditional styles, I like making my own pattern and design. Right now I am in to putting together an irregular pattern of various sized rectangles. I want to make a quilt of 6 to 8 large rectangles, each make up of 4 or 5 smaller rectangles and each of those made up of 2 or 3 smaller rectangles. I plan on binding each grouping in a bright color. I know it sounds awful, but I think it will be great. We'll see. If I get the camera fixed everyone can judge for them selves.

Rantings

I seem to have the touch of death for laptops. Recently, my laptop was replaced because it died three times within 3 years and the deaths met the insurance policy's replacement criteria. The replacement is in the shop after only a few months. Grr. I miss it, it is bookmarked, some of my passwords are automated and it is mine. I am tired of losing it for several weeks at a time. I dare say I'll survive.

More in the life is tough theme--Boy A took the flash drive (or whatever the heck it is called) out of my camera to download the pictures to his. He gave it back to me, and I have no idea what I did with it. That means I can't take pictures of Spring or the leaky pup. I miss my camera. I miss my computer, but I don't miss my job.

Yesterday hubby and I went through model homes for the age 55 set. Condo townhouses that were big and plush. They made me drool. We almost qualify, we're old enough, we just need to get rid of the boys.

Nothing Much

I have been trying to take a picture of Cole, but he is too bouncy. The pictures I tried to take today are all too blurry. So instead I'll just post a couple more pictures of Boy A's trip and a short update on retirement.

I have finished the vacation part of retirement (goofing off and catching up on sleep) and I'm ready to move on to having a more structured day. I'm still working on the structure, I find I would rather spend my days doing fun stuff and forgoing cleaning, so right now the structure is laundry and cleaning, and walking the dogs and cleaning up after the puppy. I miss the cleaning lady a lot. I hate doing the cleaning, but love having a clean house.

Rome at Home

I transfered Boy A's pictures to my computer. I really like them, I think he has a good eye for photography. My favorites are of the Colosseum, there is such a strong feeling of history in those pictures. I wish I had gone with him.

Of course I get the same feeling of history just looking at my hands.

Boy A Is Home

Life is good. He had a great time, saw a million museums and historical sights, was way to busy to call home and spent all by $13.00 of his money. He came home exhausted but having had a great time.

The started in Italy with the Vatican. They even had a chance to see the Pope (at a great distance. Since it was a school trip they saw what they consider too many museums and historical sights, but they also had a chance to go to a club and a few other fun places. Albert's favorite country was Italy but he loved all three countries they visited.

The getting there and back was a bit tougher. Well, not the whole trip, the problems were on this side of the ocean, flying between National Airport and the Newark airport.

On the way up Boy A, being Boy A (and taking after his mom) almost didn't make it out of Newark. He left his passport on the plane from Washington to Newark. Luckily he was smart enough to tell the teachers as soon as he realised what he had done and the teachers told the airline staff, who eventually found his passport. Boy A earned a round of applause when he was finally reunited with his passport and allowed to board the plane.

On the way back the plane was delayed for three hours, stranding tired, anxious to be home passengers on the runway and equally anxious parents at the airport.

I'm glad he is home. I missed him. I'm just as glad that he had a great time.

This, That and Tother

This

Not that I'm counting, but it has been 121 hours since I last saw my son. In fact it has been 5 days and an hour (not that I'm counting) since I last talked to boy A. I tried to call twice. Once at 10 p.m. and once at 11:00 p.m. (Florence time) on Monday night and no one was in the room either time.

I know he is safe. I know this is a sign he is growing up. I miss him. I am worried about him. I wish he would call.

Tonight I'll try to call him in Paris. Or maybe I should go visit him in Paris tomorrow. I wonder how much it would cost to get a flight to Paris last minute.

That

GL - I knit a scarf for you. It is made of ribbon yarn and looks fantastic. I hope you like it.

Tother

I'm working on felting projects. I have 2 bags made ready to felt and I'm working on another bag and bootie. I guess I have enough of "depression era babies" parents in me, that is seems wrong to felt just one or two things at a time.

And yes I like making feltable bags. I figure I can use a lot for knitting, keeping individual projects in small to medium sized bags and putting several of the ones I am working on in a larger bag. And they make nice gifts. If they turn out really well, I'll give them as gifts and If they are less then wonderful, I'll use them for me.

Loser Alert

I love this tree.

According to the pot smoking kids down the street I am a loser! Hrumph! Everyone knows they are pigs!

Every night Cole and I take a walk down the street to wear off some puppy energy. A few nights ago we walked by a parked SUV (motor running, lights off) and as soon as I came within a hundred feet I could smell the strong odor of pot. Obviously the kids weren't concerned about the consequences. Not only were they in no hurry to leave after I walked by, they were sitting in front of their own house.

Tonight Cole and I were walking when the same car drove up and as the kids got out I could clearly hear one of them call out "loser alert". Since Cole and I were the only ones out, I sure I was the loser they were alerting each other too.

Oh well, I don't think I really mind be a loser to the pot smokers around.

Boy A still hasn't called and he has been away from us for 61 hours. Phone home boy A, phone home.

Phone Home

Boy A has been away from me for over 50 hours and he has not called. I tell myself that is good. I tell myself that means he is having so much fun he can't find time to call. I tell myself if he wasn't safe we could have been called. I wish he would call. I wish he would call.

Boy A Winging His Way to Rome

Boy A and the rest of the group left mid morning on the first leg of this European adventure. This will be the first time he has been away from us for more then a day or two. It will also be the first time he is so far away and may be the first time he is away from us and having a heck of a lot more fun then we are.

He's growing up. I'm glad. But I can't help but think about that newborn we brought home from the hospital, the toddler who ran around shrieking with glee when we played T-Rex, the first grader eagerly waiting for the bus on the first day of school, the little boy whose life centered around his mommy. The little boy who needed me so very much.

He is growing up and not needing me. It's right. It's time, but I miss the little guy a lot.

Please bring my little man back to me safe and sound.

Plus he took my camera with him and I am left to get through the beauty of spring without a camera.

Travel--Boy A Europe tomorrow. I'm busy buying last minute stuff, packing and organizing. This is the first time in his life that he will be away from us for so long. I don't think I can stand it. I'll miss him. And I wish I was the one who was going.

Menu Foods--I called Menu Foods the other day to report Rocky's death. They were pains in the butts. They just wanted to give me another number to call. They wanted to know what kind of wet food we bought and thought was responsible for his death. The problem is I didn't know. We usually buy Iams, but have bought other brands.

Luckily the staff at Iams were very nice and took all the information and asked me to have the vet send the information about Rocky''s death to them.

It will be interesting to see what happens. It will be most interesting to see what happened to Menu foods, how the poison got in the food.

I still love retirement

Cole Sleeping at My Feet

Cole is a combination joy and pain in the butt. Puppies are a little easier then human babies only because they sleep longer and you can crate them and leave them home while you go out. They are harder because they don't diapers and they are very mobile.

He is adorable because he is a puppy. He is a pain in the butt, because he doesn't want to be out of my sight, is constantly underfoot and has very sharp teeth that he likes to use on my appendages. The hardest is I need to get up in the middle of the night to take him out. By the way, I'm sure I look really cute in the back yard at 3 in the morning in my PJs and a baggy sweatshirt.

Now that he is in the house I do have spells when I wonder whether or not I am out of my mind. I have added a new living being to my list of responsibilities. I was really enjoying retirement and making headway on getting the house in order and I've set my self back by adding a baby to the mix. Mostly I am glad. I think.

Maybe Menu Foods

Menu Foods admits they are responsible for causing kidney failure and death in animals who have eaten their foods. Rocky ate a kind of Iams that has been recalled. It is bad enough that he died, but the fact that he died from something so senseless is appalling.

Please Meet Cole de Luna

Cole was born January 18, 2007. He is a yellow Labradore and a very sweet, cute, pain in the butt. He spends most of his time sleeping-either on one of my sons laps or at my feet.



The last time I had a puppy I was 16 years ago. I had forgotten how much like human babies they are.



Cole hates to be out of sight of one of his family members. I wish he could wear diapers. I'm slowly working on crate training. But every time I put him in the crate he screams. I am getting used to it and the good thing is I won't be able to hear him when I am out of the house.



Camden is not pleased with us. He does not understand why we brought that intruder into the house. He sees no need for that noisy little thing. And, according to him, it is just wrong that people in the neighborhood come running to meet Cole. Poor Camden-cakes. He will get used to it.


As to retirement - I am getting into the swing of a schedule. I clean, take a walk, read and work on hobbies. I still need to learn to cook.

Pray For Me

Did chores, went grocery shopping, had fun. So far retirement is a good thing.

We will have a special guest coming tomorrow. I'm being secretive bcause it is more fun that way. I'll post info and pictures tomorrow.

Boy A is having a March Madness/Fantasy Baseball Draft sleepover tomorrow. It's aptly named because I will be the one going mad since there will be 7 teenage boys here from 3 in the afternoon till much too late the next day. Pray for me.

Starting To Wake Up

The good news is I only slept until 10:00 this morning and did not take an afternoon nap. I even had the time to do 3 million loads of laundry, knit and go out to dinner with the volleyball girls.

What I want to know is why am I doing more laundry now that I'm staying home then I did while I was at work. I swear that dirty laundry knows I'm home and multiplies exponentially.

I'm even finding that I do not miss work at all, but I do miss the people I worked with. And you all had better miss me.

Looks like retirement might involve more then just sleeping.

So Far Retirement Is

catching up on my sleep. I wake up when the boys go off to school and have a cup of coffee while I read the paper. I go back to sleep until about 11:30. I do some laundry, knit and read. After a few hours I take a nap.

I sure hope this is my only week of spending most of my time sleeping.

This is me sitting in the sun, snoozing.

First Real Day of Retirement?

Florida vacation is over.

Work (at least for pay) is done.

This felt like my first day of retirement and I spent it cleaning. And Knitting.

Finished up with "What's His Name", I've graduated. He helped me through a hard year.

Best Buy could not repair my computer and replaced it with a nice little Gateway. I love it. It's smaller then the last one and lighter and faster. Now I have to figure how to down load pictures cause I need pictures here.

I took a lot of pictures of birds in Florida. The beach I spent time on, housed a bird sanctuary. Sanctuary folks fed the birds on the beach twice a day. Lots of gulls and pelicans were hanging around the entrance to the sanctuary waiting to be feed. I walked down to see the birds and take pictures. The gulls must have thought I was going to feed them. They gathered around me while I was taking pictures and started to follow me home, squawking all the way. I started to walk faster and so did they. For a while I had visions of the movie "The Birds", I almost knew I would be pecked to death. But eventually they stopped following me.

Home Again

I spent the week visiting the folks in Florida. It started out as a duty visit, but I ended up being a pleasure trip. It has been the first time in I don't know how many years I have spent any time alone with them. It gave me a chance to get to know who they are again. I learned I really like the people they are, that I am who I am because of who they are.

Two things really hit home. The first was that the news was making a big deal of the firing of a local politician because he wanted a sex change operation. Both my folks thought the only factor that should be considered , for the firing, was whether or not he had done a good job. That is dang progressive.

The second thing that impressed me was that the odometer on their car was broken. They had taken it in to fixed because they qualified for a low insurance rate (for the Florida car) because it had low yearly mileage. They realized a broken odometer would report lower mileage but knew it was unfair. They were having it fixed to make sure they paid the correct amount.

I am impressed. they are people i not only love and value, but I also respect them.


I had a great time, the weather was gorgeous. I spent two days at the beach, a day at a local park. I walked at least a mile a day and spent a lot of time outdoors.

It was wonderful.

Even so, coming home is always the best. I missed the guys and the pets and my own life.

When People are Wonderful Leaving is Hard

I am not quite ready to accept that I won't be back. I'll visit, but that is not really going back. It's not doing the work, being part of the extended work family.

I had a series of wonderful good byes, an open house, a party and millions of warm hugs and good wishes. It's good to leave that way, the people I work with mean a lot to me, and I'm glad I mean something to them. It's hard to leave that way, because ... because they mean a lot to me, they are a big part of my life and I will miss them.

Yesterday I started to realize that my retirement was real. I started to realize how much I would miss everyone. After a while all I could do was go to bed. I was in bed and asleep by nine.

Today I'm ready to move on to the next step.